I still can't believe you're 6 months old!!

I sit here in awe of these pictures. 1) You're 6 months old and that is mind boggling to me. It seems like you were just born! 2) You look so darn adorable in these pictures! 3) You're like a little model and you just light up when you see a camera!

So...here are the pictures from your 6 month photo shoot with Chera. I love you precious little girl! I hope we have many more photo shoots together :)

I love this picture of you. You were coming at the camera and it was cracking us up! It was almost as if you were trying to crawl to her :)

You and Grandma! I love how you're patting her face!!


Smiley girl...

Me, you, and Grandma...

Kiss me, monkey!

This is probably my favorite picture. You look so content in my arms! I didn't know she was taking this picture, but I'm so glad she did.

I love how you're looking up at Grandma! You're probably thinking "Grandma, what on earth are you doing?!?"

My blue eyed beauty!

This picture is the whole reason I chose this location. I saw a picture like this that Chera took for someone else and I fell in love with it. I just absolutely love the reflection!!

You are too sweet in this picture. This was at the end of our photo shoot and Grandma was packing up our stuff. I sat down with you to rest for a moment and Chera caught this picture.

You and Grandma....

Grandma came by to drop off some formula for you! How cool is that?!?! Saves Mommy and Daddy a TON of money! When you get big, make sure you tell them thanks, ok? haha!

While she was here she rocked you, fed you, and put you to sleep. It was a nice break for Mommy! Too bad we couldn't get you in your crib before you woke up 3o minutes later! STINKER!



Her and Grandpa got you these cute jammies! They say "My first Halloween. Don't scare me!" I know it's not October yet, but you're growing so darn fast I figured I better put them on you while they fit!!

Strollerskating

We went strollerskating last week and had so much fun! Of course I was the one taking pictures, so there aren't any of me and you skating!!

You love to be in your stroller and within about 20 minutes you were sound asleep. I think we're going to try and do this a few times a month. You seemed to really enjoy it and it's good exercise for me :)

Here are some pictures of you and your friends...

Mom, this looks to big for me!

You cruisin around the rink :)

You, Mosely, & Emmawyn (look at you sitting up like a big girl - you're starting to figure it out)

You were cracking us up! You were hungry & you started sucking on E!!!

You and Mommy after a fun morning of skating :)

With all this volleyball

With all the volleyball games you go to your bound to grow up a volleyball player! At least that's what your Dad is hoping (and Lauren too). He's hoping you'll end up in sports and not become a cheerleader. I keep telling him you can do both :)

The girls basically run up to get you the minute their game is over. It's funny to see them all reach for you hoping they're the first one to grab you!


Rachel giving you a big kiss!


You and Auntie Nea Nea


You, Lauren, & Rachel (man, do you love them!)

The healing process...

You've spent the last week and a 1/2 trying to heal those icky intestines of yours. I think you're finally getting the hang of your bottle, so that's good. You make an absolute mess when your Daddy feeds you though, so that makes me bonkers! haha!

You're a whole 6 months old now, so you're supposed to start eating food. Because your intestines are all messed up they wanted to give you at least 1 week on your formula before we introduced any foods. They decided that Monday was the magic day (10 days after your procedure). We had to start with a single ingredient vegetable first, so we chose Sweet Potatoes. You loved them! You made an absolute mess, but you loved them. You thought it was funny to take a bite and then do this funny blowing thing with your mouth. That was cute - BUT what came out of your mouth when you did that was not! hahahaha! So, me and you were covered in sweet potato splatter :)

MMM...yummy!


Hurry up Mom! This stuff is good (notice the sweet potato splatter on your leg)!


Such a messy girl!


All cleaned up :)


Yes, Grandma, can I help you?


So...with all that being said the sweet potatoes might be a problem. All day Tuesday you kept spitting up. Not normal spit up - excessive! As the day went on I would say it was more throw up then spit up. You went through so many outfits I lost count. You screamed your little butt off that night. You were spitting up so much you would choke on it. I had you sleep with me because I was so scared you would choke in your sleep :( You got some weird bumps in your diaper area also. Because of this we didn't give you any Tuesday, Wednesday, or today (Thursday) to make sure it was out of your system. Tomorrow I will give it to you again and see what happens. If you have the same problem we'll know it's the sweet potatoes! I think this will be our life for a while until we figure out all the things you're allergic to.

We'll figure it out eventually :)

All clear!

We got a call from your doctor and the biopsies do not show anything other then severe inflammation (which we already knew). The inflammation is characteristic of a severe food allergy, so the decision to go on formula will have to stick :( I'm definitely not happy about that, but I don't have an option. I can't continue to cause your body damage. It breaks my heart. You still don't understand what is going on. If you get anywhere near my chest you try and eat. Every time you do it my heart sinks. I feel awful! Hopefully one day you'll stop doing that because until then you'll continue to bring tears to my eyes :(

Grandma met with her oncologist and all of her scans came back clear also. We were worried since they called her back in for an additional scan after they saw something on one of her other scans. The thought of going through another round of radiation/chemo treatments with her made my stomach sick. The thought of her not being here to watch you grow up make me super sick!!! BUT...she got the all clear also, so hopefully she'll be around for years to come :)

We went out last night to celebrate the good news for both of you! I wanted Red Lobster since it's Endless Shrimp time and now that I can actually eat all of that stuff I couldn't wait to go!

You were in awe of the lobsters, the lights, and the fans. You were cracking us up!

Daddy, can I take one home please?

I love things that go round and round...hee hee!

Staring at all the fans must have tired you out because you were ready to go to sleep the minute we sat down. We packed you in your chair and you slept through our whole meal. Thanks for giving Mommy a break :)

The last few days have been a blur!

We met with your doctor Thursday afternoon and he was very concerned about the blood in your stools. That's obviously not normal, it shouldn't be continuing for weeks, and you shouldn't be in pain. He's more concerned about the fact that I have Crohn's AND you have all of this stuff going on. He said it's not likely that you have Crohn's, but he's not willing to ignore these symptoms without checking you out to make sure you're ok. Friday morning he scheduled you for a colonoscopy. I left his office scared to death.

That night was rough! You couldn't eat after midnight and you just couldn't figure out what was going on. You just kept screaming and lunging for my chest trying to get some food. All I could do was hold you and try and comfort you. You were sooooo very upset at me :( Then 5:30 came and I had to give you a suppository. Lord were you pissed!!! That didn't go over well at all and you had a major meltdown on me. I just held you and told you eventually it would all be ok :)

Grandma and Grandpa came over at 7:45 Friday morning, so they could come with us to your procedure. We loaded up in the car and headed to the hospital. Your Mimi met us there, so she could be there with you also. We got you checked in and settled in for the morning. You weren't quite sure what was going on which was probably good. The hardest part was that you were hungry and you didn't understand why I wasn't feeding you. Thankfully they got you moved along fast and you were headed for your procedure within the hour. Mommy had to hold you while they put you to sleep and then we kissed you and left you in the good hands of your doctor.

Dr. An said everything went well and he didn't find any signs of Crohn's which was good. Your intestines were pretty messed up, but the signs indicated a serious food allergy and not a disease/illness. I was told that you have to be put on formula due to the allergies. I've already removed milk, soy, eggs, & gluten from my diet, so he wasn't sure what else to tell me to remove. There's no way to test for the allergies at your age, so this was the only option left. He said we couldn't contine this way because we were causing too much damage to your intestines. It was the hardest thing for me to hear. I never imagined that I would feed you formula. NEVER! It just wasn't ever a thought in my mind. So to be told I HAD to do it just broke my heart ;( I think the hardest thing is not being able to explain any of this to you. You don't understand why I completely cut you off and it makes you so upset that you can't get to my chest. You had no idea how to drink from a bottle, so that was a HUGE challenge. You refused to take a bottle, but your doctors assured me that you wouldn't starve. They said you would eventually give in and take the bottle. Well...you did! Finally that night you took your first bottle. It smells awful and taste even worse (it's Alimentum in case you were wondering), so it doesn't surprise me that you didn't want it! haha! But...you've been a trooper and you're taking it :)

The camera that we took with us started acting up, so excuse the poor quality pictures ;(

You and your Daddy in your hospital bed...



Your ID bracelet (and Mommy had a matching one, but we forgot to take a picture of it)...


Your nurse brought you a toy to play with and you absolutely LOVED it! I wish I knew where it came from because we'd buy you one. It didn't have a brand name on it though.


Grandma trying to help Daddy with you after your procedure. You were so upset :(

I was hoping it wouldn't come down to this...

We met with your GI this afternoon and he was concerned about you (more concerned then I was hoping he would be). It's not normal for blood to remain in stools for this long and it's definitely not normal for it to get worse after you've been bleeding for 2 weeks.

I really did not want you to have a colonoscopy. I definitely didn't want you to be put under at this age!

He said that they'll start with the colonoscopy and look for something obvious. They'll take biopsies, so test can be ran. If they don't see anything that leads them to something they'll do an endoscopy also since they will already have you under anesthesia. If they have to do the endoscopy they'll check for Celiac's also while they're up there. He said it's very rare for a baby to have these symptoms, but they sound more like Crohn's or a severe food allergy - not Celiacs. His biggest concern is that I have Crohn's and that it runs in families. That made my heart sink. The thought that I could have done this to you. I knew it was a risk when I got pregnant, but I just hoped you wouldn't have to worry about GI issues.

You're probably going to have a very rough night. You're not allowed to breast feed after midnight tonight. For a child who sleeps through the night that probably wouldn't be too bad, but for you it's going to be HELL! You wake up every couple of hours and expect to eat. You're not going to understand why your Mama can't feed you and that breaks my heart!

The other problem is I need to somehow find a way to pump or I'm going to be in trouble. They said the soonest you'll be able to BF (if everything goes off perfectly) is 10:30 AM. That would mean 10 1/2 hours without feeding you when my body is used to doing it every 2 -3 hrs. Just because I'm difficult my body doesn't like to cooperate with the pump unless you're eating off the other side. We went by the hospital after we left the GI's office and rented one of their pumps to see if it would work any better. It's my only hope right now.

Wish me luck that it works, Mackenzie, or your milk truck is going to have a flat tire :(

Your labs are back!

Of course the brilliant nurse didn't take enough blood. That angers me since I specifically told her to make sure she took an extra vial if she thought there was a chance she would be short. She thought she could make it work and isisted she had plenty! Well...she didn't! So now they're saying you can come back in for re-collection. No thanks! I hate that you might have to go through that again. We did find out through your CBC that your anemic though. I had to go buy you Iron drops last night (which you absolutely HATE!). Your Celiac Panel came in negative which means we still don't have answers on that. Your Pediatrician warned me we could get a false negative, so just because it said negative doesn't mean you don't have it. The only definitive way to know is by doing a colonoscopy. I was hoping to avoid that for you!

Yesterday afternoon your stools started getting worse and by last night you had straight blood in your diapers. No more mucousy blood. What's worse is there was a lot of blood - more then you've ever had in 2 weeks. I called your GI to see if there was any way they could get you in today since it seems things are getting worse. They're booked, but they have a slight opening at 3. We're supposed to be there at 2:45 to make sure we're ready to go as soon as he can see you. With the way you feel right now I'm willing to do anything. I just want you to live your days free of pain!

I got this picture of you yesterday. You were crying and crying because you had problems going to the bathroom and once that was over I think you were so exhausted you finally just gave in. I love you bunches sweet girl! We'll figure out what's wrong with you and fix it! I PROMISE!

I need some answers!

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster and I can't get off. Every few feet there's another drop and I can't catch my breath. I feel like I can't get a handle on what's wrong with you. I know you're allergic to milk and soy, but I feel like there's something missing. You're no longer getting milk or soy and you're still in pain. All of this grunting, bowel discomfort, lack of wanting to sleep on your stomach stuff happened after I introduced you to rice cereal. It was short lived because you were so uncomfortable and I thought it might be constipating you. When I saw your Pedi next I told him what I thought, so he told me to try oatmeal with you instead. Same results. And ever since then we've had problems with you.

Today you had a bunch of blood drawn to see if they can figure out what is going on. They're looking for inflamed levels in your intestines along with the possibility that you have Celiacs. The thought of that breaks my heart. I can't imagine you living your life on such a strict diet. It's just not fair. I know there are worse things, but I so did not want an intestinal issue for you. I live every day of my life with one and I wanted better for you.

The results will be in next week and then we're off to meet with yet another doctor - this time a Pediatric GI. Hopefully we can find out what's wrong with you and we can start the road to recovery!

I'm sorry your in pain sweet girl and we're doing everything possible to fix the problem! We love you!



Here's a picture of you at the lab. I took it with my phone, so the quality isn't that great. It was just too sweet of you and your Daddy not to share. You were so comfy laying with him and you had no idea what was about to happen :(

You're such a ham!

Yesterday I took you to Grandpa Larry's office to meet all of his co-workers. They've been waiting for quite a while to meet you, so I figured it was about time! Grandpa was oh so proud of you. He walked you around, one by one, so everyone could get a look at his adorable little sweetie. They all thought you were so cute. Some of these people have known your Grandpa since your Daddy was your age. The really enjoyed meeting the next generation!

Here you are proud as can be sitting in your Grandpa's office!

Man, does he adore you!

I knew your Daddy would love you, but I never thought he'd love you as much as he does. I was soooo worried when they said "It's a girl" because your Daddy had been dreaming about a little son for oh so long. He's come a long way though and he adores the ground you walk on (well...you know what I mean...haha!).

I can't wait to see how your relationship forms over the years. I have a feeling your going to be a Daddy's girl :)