This blog post will be totally out of place once I get caught up, but these thoughts were on my mind and I wanted to put them in "writing".
Tomorrow I start a new job and I'm nervous. Not nervous about being at work and if I'm capable of doing the job, but nervous about leaving you. I know, I know, everyone keeps telling me I went to work last year and you survived. It wasn't the same though. I was teaching at the same school you were going to. I saw you multiple times a day. I was in the same building if you needed something or if your teachers needed me. I could walk in your room during my break if I chose to. My mind knows that you'll do just fine, but my heart is hurting. I don't want you to ever feel like you weren't enough. That I didn't want to be with you. That I'd rather make money than be closer to you. Those are the thoughts running through my mind. I know a lot of it has to do with how I felt about Nannie working, but I won't be like that. I promise to remember that you're my priority and not my job. When you have an event I will make sure to leave work and be there on time ;) If you get older and read this and I'm letting my job run the show then just pull this blog post back up and make me read it! haha!
I'm so glad you're at a school where you already had friends. That makes me feel so much better. I at least know that no matter what happens through the day that you, Ben, and Gavin are all there for each other. You adore those boys and I know the feelings are mutual. That makes me so happy :)
I love you to the moon and back sweet angel!
